If all is not lost, where is it?
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."